


(Dont) Leave Me Alone

by Gloomy_sunflower101



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), Breaking Up & Making Up, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Friendship, Guilt, Gunshot Wounds, Heartbreak, Hospitals, Idiots in Love, Jealous Aaron Hotchner, Kidnapping, Miscommunication, Multi, No Smut, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Sappy, author is projecting, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:40:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25142527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gloomy_sunflower101/pseuds/Gloomy_sunflower101
Summary: You and Aaron Hotchner were in a relationship and everything was going perfect, until he decides he no longer wants to see you and explains to no one. This is quite the problem, considering you are a promising profiler at the BAU and had been for years.Will the team be enough to get you two back together or will a bad turn in a case do the trick first?
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Reader, Aaron Hotchner/You, past Aaron Hotchner/Haley Hotchner - Relationship
Comments: 13
Kudos: 239





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter fanfic, so I am sorry if anything seems ooc.
> 
> Any feedback helps!
> 
> Enjoy :)

You didn’t know when the spark between you and Aaron had gone out.

Perhaps, one of you had put yourself in danger one too many times while talking down an unsub. Maybe, it was the fact that you two had simply spent too many hours together, counting work and after work hours. Could it be that you had spent too many early morning hours sitting side by side with Jack, watching Aaron cook pancakes after staying with the two for days at a time? 

Whatever the reason was, you couldn’t deny that, to you, the spark was not completely snuffed out. Aaron had ended things abruptly with no warning. It makes you sick to recall how, at the time, you laughed and thought it was some twisted joke. How could you have guessed that when you both returned to Quantico, he would tell you that he wanted to stop seeing each other? 

It still made your heart ache with an overwhelming sadness when you remembered his stone cold face as he uttered the words like he had rehearsed them. You were a skillful profiler and specialized in reading people’s subtle gestures, but in that instant you could detect no emotion from him; no sadness, no regret, and definitely no hint of laughter. You hadn’t taken him seriously, not until he got into his car and left you in the quantico parking lot. Of course, you had texted, then called, then went to his house. You remembered that day like it had happened yesterday. 

It was a sunny Tuesday, Jack was at his aunt's house. It had only been 5 days since he left you to get a ride from Penelope and Aaron had already put your stuff in a box. You remembered staring at it in disbelief, the one person that you had decided to let in, was kicking you out of his life. You looked up from the box and saw his unreadable expression, your heart sank as you assumed this was nowhere near as devastating for him, as it felt for you. Desperately looking for any sign of remorse for abandoning you, or even any sign of uncertainity or even discomfort, and found nothing. He was as put together as always, meanwhile you were sure you looked like a mess, eyes puffy, hair wild from running your hands through it while you were waiting for a response from him. You observed the way his hair was still perfectly in place, and that made you angry; before you could cry, you rearranged your face to match his stoic one, and then any plans of pleading exited your mind as you wordlessly grabbed the box and drove away.

It was times like this you were thanking every known deity that you weren’t Reid and that there was no chance of an eidetic memory engraving that moment in your mind. 

Yet, somehow, that was 4 months ago, and the memory hadn’t faded; it hadn’t even begun to blur. 

The first month was the hardest, for you and the team.

Penelope didn’t know how to talk to either of you. JJ was loyal to hotch and hardly ever questioned him, but not even she understood. Emily had been there for you without question, constantly checking on you and inviting you to her house for dinner. Reid was, well, Reid. He didn’t completely understand Aaron’s reasoning, which was a hard reality for him. Rossi, no matter how hard the others interrogated him, denied he knew anything, but you didn’t miss his sympathetic glances. Morgan was definitely your biggest supporter. 

Both of you were normally paired up in cases where Aaron was too busy to be in the field with you, anyway. You had grown closer to Derek as the years went on. It was common knowledge amongst the team that you and Morgan had joined the Academy and the BAU the same year. While you two weren't exactly friends at the Academy, you quickly formed a connection at the BAU. This connection was one that was hard to explain, it was just easy to talk to him and you two trusted each other completely. You didn't even mind sharing him once Penelope joined and they started forming their odd friendship,which consisted of cute nicknames and inside jokes you didn't have a hope of understanding. You found yourself going to him on the days where Aaron’s silent treatment and cold shoulder made your heart feel like someone had it in a chokehold. 

Aaron hadn’t spoken to you directly since that day 4 months ago. Of course, you two worked together and had to be professional, but when the conversation went to anything not involving whatever case the team was on, he checked out. You two hadn’t even sat next to each other on the jet. 

It was rather childish, as pointed out by Rossi multiple times, you could admit that. However, you just didn’t know how to act when the man you had been with for 2 years just decided that he didn’t want to be with you anymore and didn’t even offer an explanation. You didn’t know how he explained it to Jack. Did he think you just abandoned him? You desperately hoped not, you loved that kid like he was your own.

Despite all this, you were rather proud of your progress, meeting Aaron’s eye no longer made your eyes sting and your heart leap. You had grown accustomed to sharing a room with JJ or Emily while on cases, leaning your head on Morgan’s shoulder while napping on the jet back to Virginia, or doing crosswords with Reid when you were bored in the bullpen. You even started going out with the team for drinks after long cases again. The team also seemed to adjust and somehow things went back to normal. 

Even though, there were still some days where you felt like you were walking around with a hole in your chest. Some days where you felt so lost after a gruesome case, you wanted nothing more than to see Jack’s innocent smile to remind you that there was hope in the world. Some days where you would have given anything to have Aaron hold you and tell you that everything was going to be okay. 

You had wasted more time than you were willing to admit remembering and replaying your most valued memories from you and Aaron’s relationship. The first time you two had kissed at Rossi’s house during a cooking lesson and blamed it on the expensive wine. How Aaron and you finally admitted you shared feelings, somehow accidentally in front of the entire team. Meeting Jack for the first time and how it melted your heart to watch him accept you into his and Aaron’s small world. The date nights while Jack was at Jessica’s house. The game nights with the team, where they would yell at you both to stop being “grossly and incredibly cute”, as quoted by Penelope. Those memories felt like dreams, realities from a past life. 

It was painfully obvious to you that the reality where those memories existed wasn’t reality anymore, it didn’t even seem like an option.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 
> 
> I'm hoping to get the next chapter out by tommorow.

“Hey, Y/n, how was your weekend? You never texted me back about catching that new movie.”, Emily asks, startling you. How long had you been staring at your coffee?

“Yeah, sorry about that, I got a bit busy. ”, you said, looking up to meet her eye.

“Oh, I see, what’s his name?”, she lifted an eyebrow, a mischievous grin on her face.

“Derek Morgan, I think you may know him.”, You say before laughing out loud. 

As her mouth falls open, you continue, “Not like that. I bought this new bookshelf and for the life of me couldn’t figure it out, so I asked him to come and help me build it, and by the time we were done we were both hungry so we decided to grab dinner.”

“I think you stopped before the best part, Y/n.”, Emily said in a sing-song voice.

“Oh, you’re right, the part after dinner, where we each went our separate ways and went home.”, You said, fighting the urge to smile at her disappointed face. 

“You’re no fun. You deserve to start having fun again.”, she pressed as you both went back to the bullpen, joining Reid and JJ.

“Yeah, sure Em, just maybe not with a co-worker. Trust me, I learned my lesson there.”

Just then you heard his voice. The voice that would tell Jack stories before bed, the voice that had told you he loved you, the voice that broke your heart. The voice of Aaron Hotcher.

He cleared his throat and you knew. He had heard what you had said.

“Penelope’s got a new case, 3 women found dead, meeting now.”

His voice was strained, with what you didn’t know, and tried to convince yourself you didn’t care. His fading footsteps walked away and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“What are the chances he didn’t hear me?”, you asked the group.

“Well statistically speaking there’s a-”, Reid started.

“Simply speaking?”, you cut him off with no real anger or annoyance.

“Not great,Y/n”, Reid said with a sigh. 

You sighed as the four of you went to the conference room.

Sitting at the table was Aaron, Rossi and Penelope. Rossi was reading through the files, with Aaron, while Penelope was making last minute changes to the presentation. 

You took a seat across from Aaron without realizing it. Emily began going through the files with Rossi and Aaron; while JJ and Reid continued their conversation from earlier. Right as Penelope was about to begin, Morgan came into the room, looking out of breath.

“Sorry, I’m late, traffic was a nightmare.” He said as he got settled in next to you. 

“ Okay so we have 3 Jane Does discovered in what seems to be some mass grave in Tulsa, Oklahoma on-”, Penelope began the debriefing. 

You felt a nudge on your arm and turned to see Derek, sliding you a muffin from your favorite cafe.

“Is this why you were late?”, you whispered, hoping no one could hear you over Penelope.

Derek flashed his signature smile and shrugged, causing you to roll your eyes. 

“He hasn’t taken a new woman yet, but my guess is you guys don’t have too much time to find this creep.”, Penelope concluded.

“I agree, wheels up in 30.” Aaron said, officially ending the meeting. 

The rest of the team filed out to grab their designated “go bags”, leaving you and Derek alone. 

“Please tell me you did not risk the wrath of Garcia to get me a blueberry muffin.”, you asked, not missing the way Aaron seemed to linger by the door.

“Oh of course not, which is why Penelope will be finding a chocolate chip muffin in her office in about 2 minutes. Gotta keep both my girls happy!” Derek said with a playful grin before leaving you alone. You began eating your muffin as you walked out the conference room to get your bag. 

About 15 minutes later you were packed and about to get on the elevator, sans muffin. You walked up to the elevator at the same time as Aaron, which made it feel like your muffin was in danger of making a reappearance. If Aaron was affected, he didn’t show it. 

The elevator finally arrived and neither one of you moved. 

“I’ll catch the next one.”, You said, hating how unsure you sounded. 

“No, it’s fine.”, Aaron said, pressing the ‘hold door’ button from inside the elevator.

It took everything in you not to have your jaw fall on the floor. You couldn’t decide if you wanted to scream or cry or throw something, instead you blinked. The first word he’d spoken to you in months and it was ‘no’.

“Okay.”, it sounded weak to your own ears.

You joined him in the elevator and kept your eyes forward as the doors snapped shut. It was beyond awkward, but the staticy music made it almost comical. You were about to say something, when he spoke first. 

“Please tell Morgan that breakfast muffins are not an excuse to be late, Agent y/l/n.”, He said in his smooth, yet calm voice.

You were shocked and hurt, not once in all the years you had known him, had he called you by your last name. 

The elevator arrived at the ground floor and before he could leave you lashed out, 

“You tell him yourself, Agent Hotchner. I’m not your messenger.”, you said, not waiting for a response as you exited and didn’t look back.

Once everyone was on the jet, you found Aaron with an annoyed scowl on his face while muttering something to Rossi. It made you smile.

“I know right? See a lot of people don’t find theoretical geometry as fascinating as I do, but I believe it’s because they lack the capabilities to-”

Reid’s rant snapped you back to reality where he was telling you about the book he read this morning, you nodded and hoped he didn’t notice. Spencer was a genius and very few people could mentally keep up with him, but he was still young. You found it really easy to talk to Reid, he made connections before you could even process the data. You loved having conversations with him and if that meant hearing geometry rants at 9 am, then you were happy to try to listen. 

Aaron started going over the details of the case again, and Reid quieted down.

You got up to use the bathroom, avoiding JJ’s questioning looks and Rossi’s knowing gaze. You went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, you were struggling to get a grip. Aaron had never called you by your last, while it was technically your title, it still felt impersonal and harsh coming from his mouth. You couldn’t hear Aaron- no, Hotch, you corrected yourself- anymore, so you assumed they had stopped. You opened the jet’s bathroom door and walked straight into Derek. 

“Way to give me a headache, Morgan.”, you said sarcastically, rubbing your head. 

“I didn't even know you were in there. I, well you know. But while we're here it sounds like you needed someone to check on you. What was with walking out while Hotch was going over the case?”

“Well,if you don't mind, I'd like to go back and read over the file.”, you said ignoring him as if he didn't say anything. You didn't want to explain, you wanted to sulk, though you didn’t know why you were mad at Derek.

Just then the jet hit a wave of turbulence, which caused Derek to stumble into you and knocked you both against the door of the bathroom. 

You both laughed as you felt your face heat up as Morgan backed away. Your anger and annoyance vanishing.

“Sorry, y/n. Now either tell me what’s wrong or move, your boy’s gotta get to the other side of that door.”, Derek said in between laughs. 

“Okay okay, I’ll just tell you later, go get em’ tiger.”, you side-stepped out of the way still laughing to yourself as you saw Emily grinning up at you from the case files. You took a seat across from her next to JJ.

“I thought you said it wasn’t like that.”, JJ said with a smirk.

“Oh my gosh, you literally felt the turbulence too, stop it.”, you said, hating the blush that was undoubtedly on your face.

“Well don't look now, but I think Hotch forgot he can’t actually shoot daggers out of his eyes with that glare.”, Emily whispered.

“Have you guys even talked? I mean it’s been4 months, this is getting ridiculous. You two were supposed to have worked it out by now.”, JJ said, just as quietly.

“He called me ‘Agent y/l/n’.”, you said with a frown.

They looked at each other with matching worried expressions before masking it with faux confidence. 

"That doesn't mean anything, I mean Penelope sometimes calls you by your last name too.", JJ pointed out. 

"Yeah, but I didn't spend 2 years dating her and wasn't basically weeks away from moving in with her and her son.", you said half-heartedly. 

Silence fell over the three of you, only to broken by Emily.

“Well, then who needs him, he doesn’t even have a sense of humor.”, Emily said in an unsure voice, waving her hand. 

But he did.

They had only seen him smile a few times. You had the secret smiles he shared with Jack, the ones shared between kisses, the corny jokes told after a few glasses of whiskey. The shy smile he gave you after you told him you loved him.

JJ and Emily spent the rest of the jet ride catching you up on the unsub’s M.O.

The team landed in Tulsa and you decided to forget about Aaron and the drama. You had a job to do and obsessing over your ex was not going to save whatever woman the unsub was going to take. People were counting on you and you couldn't let them down.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight change in tags 
> 
> Enjoy :)

“I’m Agent Hotchner, this is Agent Rossi, Dr. Reid and Agent y/l/n”, Aaron said as he introduced the three of you to the Sheriff of the Tulsa Police Department.

“This is really all they sent? Four feds who are gonna give us a vague idea about the killer’s background?” 

You and the others whirled around to find the source of the comment and see an average guy with blonde hair and green eyes, his uniform read, ‘Deputy Collins’.

“Well, we thought we would save time and send our other three agents to the site where the bodies were discovered.” Rossi said, dismissing the rude comment. 

“Forgive Deputy Collins, he’s just anxious about this guy’s next move. We all are. We haven’t had a case like this in almost a decade. I’m Sheriff Mays.”, The sheriff introduced herself, giving the other man a harsh glare. 

The Deputy shot the group a quick fake smile, you didn’t miss how his eyes seemed to linger on you.

You felt uneasy and shifted from foot to foot. Despite this, you made eye contact and the Deputy gave you a look that made your skin crawl. Aaron seemed to sense your unease as he cleared his throat and met the man's gaze with a hardened expression. Deputy Collins got called away, but gave you one last look.

The four of you got to work immediately. You began setting up the board with pictures of the found women and any leads that the local police found and Reid set off to work on the geographical profile. Rossi and Hotch went to the morgue to look at victimology. 

You felt a tap on your shoulder and saw the Deputy standing a little too close behind you.

"Yes, Deputy?", You asked taking a small step back, but looking for wherever Reid was.

"I was just curious to see what you were actually doing. I don't really know why the Sheriff thought you could help us. I mean no offense, but we don't need a bunch of shrinks analyzing the killer.", he said, not even pretending not to look you in the eyes.

"Yeah, you already expressed that you don't understand what we do at the BAU. The profile that we create gives us a look into the unsub's life and if we find out why he does what he does, we can find out the quickest and safest way to stop him." ,You answer, relief flooding through you as you see Reid returning.

He shrugs and makes some noise of disapproval as Reid rejoins you. The Deputy stalks off.

"Don't ask.", you tell Reid as he gives you a puzzled look. 

Soon, Emily, JJ and Morgan made their way to the station so you could regroup. Reid was away again, this time on the phone with Garcia confirming where exactly the victims had been abducted. 

“Hey, they kind of look like y/n.” JJ said, causing you to jump, you had been so focused, you hadn’t heard them walk in.

You stepped back and looked at the three women, you hadn’t even noticed.

“Okay, JJ, thanks for pointing that out.”, Emily said sarcastically, sensing your growing uncomfortableness. 

“Well, he definitely has a type. High risk victims, mid to late 30’s, pretty.”, Morgan said, seeming to think out loud. You made sure to miss the sudden eye contact from both JJ and Emily.

Rossi and Aaron returned along with Reid who had already found out the killer’s most active zone, which conventeinly was surrounding the police station that the team gathered around. 

“Well, we can say that the burial site was extremely isolated, he would have plenty of time alone to go back and relive the crimes. The only access to it was along a not very popular hiking trail, according to the Leading Park Ranger.”, Morgan said. 

“Yeah, the Ranger said that particular trail had not gotten renoventated along with the others and it isn’t even featured on the newer maps of the area.”, Emily added.

“So clearly someone local, who knows the area well.”, Reid concluded.

“And that trail means something to the unsub, along with the site.”, you said earning a series of nods. 

While the team was working on building the profile, Garcia appeared on Morgan’s laptop with new information. 

“Okay, first of all, let me say, y/l/n were you hosting a look-alike contest because wow, I mean the similarities are scary. It’s rare to see one doppleganger, but to find three? That’s-”

“The case, Garcia.”, Aaron cut her off with his lips pressed into a thin line. 

Penelope’s information gave you and the team the missing parts of the profile and soon the team was delivering the profiler to the local officers.

You were surveying their reactions and didn’t miss the deputy’s clenched jaw when Aaron began describing the unsub’s past with women.

The unsub still hadn’t made a move, and it was past 11 when you and the team decided to call it a night. Rossi, Reid and JJ went to the hotel. Emily and Morgan were going to catch a late dinner, you were on your way to meet them when Aaron approached you. 

“I wanted to apologize for this morning.”, Aaron said, catching you completely off guard.

You felt a bubble of nervous laughter trying to climb its way out of your throat. You were experiencing a mix of emotions; from annoyance that he had waited this long to apologize, happiness that he was even apologizing at all, anger at yourself for the excitement of him talking to you, and confusion at why he suddenly decided you existed. 

“Y/n?”, he questioned, stepping closer. 

“What?”, you said, surprising yourself at how steady your voice sounded, considering it felt like your throat was closing.

“Look, I shouldn’t have called you agent y/l/n.”

“Oh, why is that? You didn’t like how it felt, right, Hotch?”, you said, being brave despite wanting to cry or breakdown into nervous laughter.

“Y/n, I said I was sorry don’t push it. I’m also sorry for reprimanding you, I should have told Morgan myself.”, He said. You could tell he was trying to mask his anger. 

“Yeah you should have, but I accept your apology.”, you said stiffly. You really didn’t know what was happening. Where was he going with this?

“I wanted your thoughts on the case to be honest. We have no real leads, the locals have interviewed the ranger that found them, Ranger Williams and one of the victims ex boyfriends, but I don’t think any of them are good for it.”, Hotch said in a rush like he only had seconds to talk.

Your heart sank. He didn’t come to apologize for ripping out and spitting on your heart, hadn’t even mentioned it. He didn’t care how you have been. He didn’t realize he made a mistake and begged you back.

“Oh, well I did notice the deputy seemed to have a strange reaction during the presentation of the profile. When you were talking about his past to explain the unsub’s motives, he looked like he would have punched you, if he could.”, you said, finally making eye contact with him.

“I’m not worried about him, just a typical uniform who wanted to be sheriff but didn’t make the cut so he has problems with figures of authority. I’ll have Garcia start digging around anyway. It would probably be better to keep this quiet until we have proof.”, Hotch said, texting Garcia as he spoke. 

You nodded as an uncomfortable and heavy silence settled between the two of you. How could this have been the same person you would spend countless hours talking to about anything and everything. Aaron was never a big talker, but the silence was comforting, there was a time where just knowing he was there was enough. Now you were fidgeting awkwardly and overanalyzing every word you thought of saying. 

“Well it’s getting late.”, you stated, watching as Aaron seemed out of it. His mind was definitely elsewhere and you didn’t know how much longer you were supposed to stand there and ignore all the anger and sadness that was not being discussed. 

“Yeah, I didn’t even notice. Did you, maybe want to eat?”Aaron asked, finally getting out of his head and into the present.

“Excuse me?”, you asked, not fully trusting your ears. 

“Did you want to go get dinner? Maybe there's a 24 hour diner somewhere.”, Aaron finally asked, sounding frustrated with himself. 

Before you could answer Emily texted you, asking where you were.

“Uh, I was going to grab something with Morgan and-”, you started, only to be interrupted. 

“Oh, of course, he’s probably waiting for you. Nevermind then.”, Aaron said, placing on his ‘Hotch glare’ mask.

“No it’s actually gonna be him and Em-”, you tried again, beginning to panic.

“I get it, y/n. You’ve moved on. It’s my own fault.”, He said with no emotion.

“What? No just listen-”, you reached out.

“I’m going back to the hotel, maybe Dave saved me some take-out. Enjoy your evening, I still expect you and Derek to be on time.”

Before you could correct him, he was out the door. 

You sighed and told Emily you were on your way.

You couldn’t believe Aaron. He broke up with you, kicked you out of his world and now thinks he has the right to get mad about you ‘moving on’. What the hell did that mean anyway? The man hadn’t even talked to you, and so what if you did like Morgan. You didn’t but why should Aaron care? It’s none of his business. As if you could move on when you were forced to see him everyday and not know what was going on in his and Jack's world. How did he expect you to move on without even giving you the proper opprotunity to say goodbye to Jack? How could move on when your stupid and stubborn heart still loved him? 

You finally made it to your car and had just buckled your seatbelt when you felt something wrap around your throat from the backseat.

You quickly lost consciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I just couldn't finish it in a chapter.
> 
> Another change in tags, so this is your warning
> 
> KInd of a short chapter, but sappy hospital scene up next!

Your head felt like it was stuffed with cotton. You couldn’t quite open your eyes, but your nose was overwhelmed by the smell of pine and smoke. 

You tried to open your mouth but only a cough came out.

“Oh, you're awake, it’s always more fun when I get to see you react.”

The voice was unfamiliar, you couldn’t place it. You tried with all you had to open your eyes again; you felt an eyelid flutter, but not open.

You tried to stand up but felt ropes cutting into your arms, legs and around your torso.

“What did you do? Why would you take her?”

That voice did have your eyes shooting open. Deputy Collins.

Your eyes opened and you saw the foggy image of the Deputy Collins and some man you didn’t recognize. 

Why was it foggy? You scanned the room for an explanation. You saw a fireplace, that would explain the smoke smell. 

“Look, we had a deal, I get to have my fun and sometimes let you join, and you keep it quiet. That was the agreement, Collins. You never said you got to pick.”, the man said, you were fighting the urge to vomit at his words.

“Listen Ranger, she's a Fed! You could've had anyone, how am I gonna explain how she died?”

“That’s not my problem, Deputy. I mean how could I not? She looks just like my Jenny.”, the man said, meeting your eye.

“It will be your problem if I turn you in. They wouldn’t believe you against me.”, the Deputy threatened stepping towards the park ranger.

So he was a ranger, was he Ranger Williams? That would explain how he found the body. 

“Well what are you gonna do about her? She’ll tell and the court will gladly believe a Federal Agent over both of us.”, the ranger began walking towards you.

The deputy seemed lost in thought.

“Get away from me.”, you said masking your fears with calmness. If these creeps wanted a reaction, they weren’t going to get one from you. The man stepped closer to you. 

“No, I don’t think I will. How can I, Jenny?”, the man said picking up a lock of your hair.

“I’m not Jenny. I don’t even know who that is.”, you said staring him down, channeling your inner Hotchner. 

Which seemed to anger the man as he grabbed your arm roughly. “Stop being stupid, I knew you loved me, I didn’t care what anyone said, Jenny. I’ll never forget when I first saw  
you walking on that trail all those years ago.”

“So we’re in the woods?”, you asked hoping you could keep him talking. That would explain the pine smell. 

“Of, course, Jenny. I became a Park Ranger just so I could make sure you were safe on your hikes.”, he answered, almost smiling fondly. It was scary to see his delusion completely take over. 

“Williams, I’m not her. I’m not Jenny. Deep down, you know that. My name is y/n.”, you said, breathing to keep the anxiety at bay.

“Oh, stop pretending, it’s not funny.”, He said, raising his voice. 

“Both of you shut up. She has to go, she can identify both of us. No fun, let’s just end this, Williams.”, Deputy Collins said surprising you. 

You could feel panic seeping in. Your team needed more time. They would have figured out you were missing by now right? How long had you even been here? It was still night, but you could see the sun starting to rise. 

“No! That’s not the deal!” , Williams shouted, causing you to flinch. 

“Yeah Collins, you promised the ranger his fun, going back on your promises?”, you taunted.

Collins shot you a deadly look.

“Hey, Williams?”, He’s changing the terms of whatever the deal was. That doesn’t seem fair.”, you pressed, turning to the Ranger.

“You’re right, Jenny.”, Williams said, turning to face the Deputy.

“Shut it.”, Deputy Collins told you.

“I’m just saying if you can’t trust him to keep the terms of the deal, what happens when he turns you in?”, you said, feeling the tension rise.

“Okay, that’s enough.”, the Deputy said, pulling out his gun.

He pressed it against your temple, only to be thrown to the floor by Williams. You watched them wrestle, while trying to get free. 

You were distracted until the sound of a gunshot made you cry out. You refused to turn to see who it had been, but soon enough Collins came back into view, this time with a split lip. 

“I told the Sheriff not to send for your team. She didn’t listen. No one listens to me. I’m tired of being treated like a rookie. You have Sheriff Mays to thank for this.”, Collin said as he raised the gun towards you for the second time. 

Despite your training, you felt a tear leak out of your eye. You closed them before any more could spill out and waited for the sound. You thought of your family, of the team, of Aaron and Jack.

You flinched as the sound of a door being kicked down rang through the room.

“FBI! Drop it, Deputy.”

That was Morgan! Your team had figured it out. You couldn’t help but turn to find Morgan, JJ and Aaron with their guns pointed at the Deputy.

“Put the gun down, now.”, JJ repeated. All of them refused to even look at you.

The Deputy turned around wildy and you saw the moment he made his choice. Somewhere, you heard Morgan shout as you heard the shot. 

You felt a searing pain in your arm. Then a second gunshot, you didn’t know who fired. You saw the Deputy fall. You looked down toward your arm,you couldn’t process it. Why was there so much red?

Aaron ran towards you and began untying you from the chair.

You heard JJ calling for a Medic and saw Morgan kicking the gun away from the deputy and the ranger. 

Your brain seemed fuzzy, you decided to focus on Aaron’s face since it was right in front of you. He had tears flowing down his face. It made you frown. You tried to tell him, it was okay, the unsubs were dead, but your mouth was too dry.He shook his head and placed a hand gently on your cheek. He was saying something, you couldn’t hear it over the ringing in your ears.

You were finally untied and slumped forward. You heard Aaron call for Morgan.

“Derek, help me carry her.”

You realized the ringing wasn’t in your ears, it was the ambulance siren.

They walked you out where you were placed on a gurney. JJ started talking to the cops that had arrived with it. Morgan was talking to the EMTs. You started noticing you were fading in and out. Somehow you were already in the ambulance. You didn’t know where anyone went and you tried to sit up.

“Calm down, agent.”, one of the EMTs told you.

“Where’s Aar-”, you tried.

“I’m here.”, Aaron said, squeezing your hand. When did he start holding it?

“We’re going to the hospital, you're losing blood.”. He continued, letting a tear fall.

“I gave her something to relax, it should hold her until we get her into surgery.”, the EMT said as you felt a pinch, somewhere. 

“I love you, I still do.”, you said, smiling as sleep finally took you.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :)
> 
> Please leave any thoughts or criticisms, they would help me out alot.

You heard the beeping and you instantly knew where you were. 

“Aaron?”, you called out, not wasting the effort of opening your eyes. You knew the bright white lights would cause them to sting. 

“Uh, no, it's Reid. Hotch is outside, Jack called.”, Spencer answered, sounding nervous. 

“Hi, Reid. How are you?”, you asked, trying to convince yourself it was worth it to open your eyes. 

“I’m okay, glad you’re fine. How are you? Are you in pain, I could call the nurse back in?”, he offered. You could imagine him fidgeting and adjusting the sweater he was undoubtedly wearing. 

“Where’s the Deputy and Williams?”, you asked, your nose wrinkling at the strong scent of the hospital cleanser smell.

“The Deputy made it, but we think he took out Williams. You can help us out there later.”, Reid said. 

You finally opened your eyes and met the brown-eyed genius and his mess of hair. 

“So I was shot, I guess.”, you half ask, glancing at the bandage on your arm.

“Yeah, Hotch didn't think Deputy Collins would have time to shoot, but he was hit just after he pulled the trigger. It messed up his aim enough, well not enough to miss.”

You smiled and saw the clock read 8 am. 

A knock on the door startled you both. 

Derek walked in and his face lit up when he saw your face. 

“Hey, you.”,He said, taking the chair on the other side of your hospital bed, across from Reid. 

“Hey, pretty boy, do you want some coffee? JJ just bought some for everyone.”

Reid nodded then sent you one last smile before exiting the room. 

You looked up at Morgan and saw him swipe his eyes.

“What is this? The infamous Derek Morgan shedding tears all for me? I should be honored.”

He laughed and you felt a sense of warmth. 

“You really scared me, all of us really. I mean when you didn’t show, Emily and I went straight to the hotel. When none of the others said they had seen you-”, he trailed off, shaking his head.

You took his hand, “If it’s any consolation, I knew you and the team would find me. I never doubted it.”

He gave you a look.

“Well maybe for a second, but like 98 percent of the time, I had full faith in all of you.”, you smiled as tears welled in your eyes. 

You both shared a smile for a second. 

“Wait, how did you guys find me? I mean I knew you could, but we didn’t have any suspects.”, you asked, noticing it wasn't a chore to keep your eyes open anymore. 

“Well Hotch seemed to think you were with me, which we are going to talk about, Missy. You can’t use me to make your boss jealous, especially when he's my boss too.”, he said, giving your hand a playful shake.

“But anyway, once we figured out that you had never left the station, we went to look at the security footage and saw Collins broke into your car and waited for you. The idiot didn’t even cut off the footage.”, he continued.

“Okay, in my defense, I never said I was going to dinner with just you, Aaron got to that conclusion on his own and refused to hear me out, there was no using.”, you said with a grin.

“You should have just told me, I would have played it up more.”, Derek said.

You rolled your eyes but then another question occurred to you, “Wait but how did the team find me? I mean I was in the middle of nowhere.”

“Well, I guess you forgot about our miracle worker, Penelope Garcia. She established a link between the ranger and the Deputy. Once that connection was made, she dug into Williams' life. We split up and send teams along the trails. 

“Well, thank you for getting me.”, you said meeting his eyes.

“I’ll always be here to get you, that's a promise, y/n.”

You heard a quiet knock at the door and saw Aaron walk in with red eyes. 

“Um, I’m going to make sure Reid found that coffee.” , Morgan gave your hand a smile squeeze before patting Hotch on the shoulder on his way out. 

Aaron slowly walked towards your bed. He eventually took a seat and refused to look at you. 

“I remembered what I said Aaron.”, you said, with no fear. You could have died. You didn’t care if he laughed in your face, you had to tell him how you felt. He didn’t react, but he did look up at you, as he took your hand.

“I meant it, Aaron. I don’t know what I did, but these past 4 months have been hell for me. I miss you, the real you, not ‘SSA Hotchner’. I miss Jack so much. I miss hearing about his day at school and going to his soccer games. I don’t know why you shut me out, but it didn’t work. It’s not fair that just because you lost feelings, you just expected me-”, you cut off when you see him starting to tear up.

“I didn’t. I never ‘lost feelings’.”, He said in a low voice.

“Then why did you do it? Why did you leave me alone and then not only that, you didn’t even act as if I existed.” , you couldn’t help the tears that spilled over your cheeks. 

He wiped them away.

“Do you remember Haley?”, He asked, drawing circles along your face. 

“Yes, of course.”, you answered, curious to see where this was going. 

“Well, I was too late to save her. I couldn’t save her. I was useless, I didn’t-”

“Aaron that wasn’t your fault-”

“No, y/n it was. I dragged her into this mess. I promised myself I would never put anyone I loved in danger like that again. I tried to push Jack away right after Haley’s death but I couldn't because he was all I had left. I didn’t want to be alone. So I was selfish and couldn’t give him to Jessica. Then you came along.”

“Aaron-”, you didn’t even know what to say.

“Then you showed up and you were perfect. Smart, brave, funny, beautiful and for some reason you had feelings for me. I didn’t know why, but I was selfish again and I let us get close, I was in denial about how close until one night Jack asked me. He asked me when you were just going to live with us. All I could see was you and Haley laying dead because of me. I couldn’t go through with that again.I thought I was saving you by pushing you away.”

You could barely see him, your eyes were so blurry.

“And Haley said she had wanted me to find love again, and I did, with you. But I couldn’t stand to lose it again. So I fought it, and I realized, I couldn’t be your friend, it was hard enough being your boss. But seeing you with Derek or when Emily makes you laugh, I realized my feelings for you weren’t going to change.I’m so sorry for how I acted, I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me but I figured you needed to know, considering I almost lost you.”, Aaron said, letting his tears fall. 

“Aaron, I love you. It’s not your job to protect me, it's our jobs to have each other’s backs. I look out for you and you look out for me. What happened with Haley has never and will never be your fault. She was lucky to have you looking out for her and Jack. I never want to replace her, but I like to think me, you and Jack can be happy.”

“You really forgive me?”, he asked in disbelief.

Now you were the one that wiped his tears, “Yes, of course. But next time you have some crazy thought about pushing me away, you better be ready because I am not letting you go without a fight again.”

He pulled you into a kiss. You flinched as he ran his hand along your wound. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry.”, he said, eyes wide, already pulling away.

You forced a laugh and waved a hand.

“Now, back to you being jealous of Derek-”, you said in a teasing tone.

“I don’t remember admitting that.”, Aaron said as he leaned in for another kiss. 

You two spent the rest of the day talking through everything. You would be moving in with them as soon as your lease was up. You were finally cleared to check out. You got on the jet and found the whole team waiting to hug you. They were on you before you could fully walk in. 

“Careful with her arm.”, Aaron warned. Everyone was smiling. 

You sat next to Aaron, getting a smirk from Rossi. Morgan gave you a wink, from his seat across from Reid.  
Emily and JJ were less subtle, “So?”

Aaron pretended not to smile.

“We figured it out.”, you said breaking out into a smile

“Oh thank goodness! I mean if this didn’t bring you two back together, I didn’t know what would!”

Garcia’s voice scared everyone, causing the team to look around.

“I’m over here on Morgan’s phone.”, you saw Morgan holding his phone in the air

I’m so glad you’re okay, y/n. Be warned, lots of hugs when you get back.”, she continued with a bright smile. 

You felt a sense of true happiness numbed any pain as you looked around at Aaron and your team.

No. They were your family.


End file.
